The Potatoes

It's June 27th and we planted potatoes today.

If you google "when to plant potatoes," you get pretty much the same advice across the board.  Here's a sampling:

"If you garden in areas that have hot summers[,] be sure to plant your potatoes early."(http://www.motherearthnews.com/Real-Food/2007-04-01/When-and-How-to-Plant-Potatoes.aspx)

"Planting potatoes 2 – 3 weeks before your last frost date will produce the most satisfactory results." (http://www.growingpotatos.org/use-soil-thermometer-when-planting-vegetables/)

And on it goes--I won't bore you with more results but you get the idea.  Plant potatoes in early spring, motherfucker, or they won't grow nicely and you'll get poor yields.  Now, aside from planting them at the wrong time or infecting them with blight, it's pretty hard to fuck up potatoes.  They're not too picky about where they grow or how good the soil is, and they don't need sustained high temperatures, making them practically foolproof.  Also, people like to eat potatoes.  They want to buy them from you because they're familiar and tasty and full of simple carbohydrates which increase blood serotonin levels and whatnot. 

To review, we planted our potatoes a week after the fucking Summer Solstice.  Will they grow?  Sure, but they won't bulk up too well, they'll take forever to be ready, and many of them probably won't make it--meanwhile, other farmers will be selling potatoes like hotcakes because EVERYONE LIKES POTATOES.  So congratulations, Farmer, you've just fucked up what is universally considered one of the easiest vegetables to grow, and one that is pretty much a guaranteed seller.  Good job.  How not to run a farm, step 3: fuck up the potatoes.